Life is all about the adjustments we make

I’m a sports guy. When I was younger, I played whatever was in season: football, baseball, basketball. Even for a short stint, I even took up tennis. That pursuit quickly came to an end when I hit the best forehand of my life but it nearly caved in the sternum of the guy I was playing against that day. My dream of being the next Pete Sampras died that night when my buddy wanted to hunt me down (when he could breathe again!)

While I rarely play much anymore, football fascinates me. I like both the pro and college game. I like going to games and watching on tv. The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat. Nothing gets me yelling at my tv like a nail-biting football game. Why? More than any other sport, in my opinion, football is the best at making adjustments. You often hear in pre-game press conferences about “executing the game plan” but in post-game interviews you hear players and coaches speak about in-game and halftime adjustments. This means that as a team was preparing to play their next opponent, they had devised a plan based on their scouting reports, practice, and players available, on how best to defeat them. However, as in life, not everything goes according to plan. So, the wise coach and their staff are making notes, having discussions on the sidelines, and making adjustments as the game is going on or when they get to the locker room, they make adjustments based on what is working and what is not.

How many times have we been on a particular course and heading in life and we know that adjustments need to be made but we refuse to or feel like we are unable to. Often, we don’t adjust course because we tell ourselves that we are DETERMINED and we convince ourselves that we have “haters” to prove wrong. We most likely don’t have haters. There are not people actively thinking about how much they hate us all day. We may have bumped into someone who was having a bad day and didn’t compliment us on something and we call them “haters” because it makes us feel important.

Refusing to adjust and make changes is not determination; it is stubbornness. What’s the difference? Determination is positive; feel light; and can take you far. It is a willingness to change as needed; and keeping an open mind. Stubbornness is a heavy feeling; a refusal to budge; a negative, closed mind; and will hold you back and keep you stuck. Are there things in your life that will continue to hurt you if you or keep you bound if don’t let them go? Are you really willing to hold on to your history at the expense of your destiny?

I’m all for you setting a goal; having a dream; and setting your sights on what you want to accomplish. However, to encourage you to hold on to your dream and not let anything take it away or change it, would teach you to not be open to the promptings of your heart. We have to be tenacious about keeping our faith but open handed about what manifestation that takes in each season. This took me a lifetime to learn and understand.

In 2019, I got a divorce. I had gotten married long ago to an idea in my head of what my life, my purpose, and my calling were supposed to look like. Much of that thinking came from listening to what others thought I should do. For years, I had put it in my mind that I would only ever speak in one field, one arena of thought and only ever do one thing. If you stay with the first draft of your dream that you think is your dream, then the chances of you being disappointed are 100%. If you allow for revisions to what you thought you were called to do or be or what you thought it would look or feel like, then it leaves you open to another iteration.

Last year, I spoke 46 times to nearly 13,000 people in 8 cities across 14 different fields and industries. I wrote 23 columns and produced 17 episodes of my radio show/Podcast. This never would have happened if I would have remained stubborn about my vision. Maybe Plan B was plan A all along! Sometimes finding who you are requires you to lose who you thought you were and wanted to be.