Knowing the difference between followers and friends

The great thing about social media is you can say whatever you want. The bad thing about social media is you can say whatever you want. Social media is not evil. Much like money, social media is neutral. It’s use is determined by the user. Social media is not sentient – it is not able to perceive or feel things. It is a tool.

Social media is the new permanent record and even if you delete something, there's always a chance someone has already taken a screenshot of it and it lives on a server somewhere on this planet. Your social profiles are going to be more telling than any resume you write or interview you go on. There is no such thing as “private”, no matter how restrictive you have your settings. If you post it, it’s public. Period. How many people have lost jobs, opportunities, relationships, scholarships, and respect because of itchy thumbs – an insatiable desire to let the world know every single thought that passes through their head with no thought of the ramifications it may carry? The Internet is not written in pencil, it's written in ink.

So, what role does social media play in our lives and yours in particular? Are you more comfortable online than in the real world? Are you someone who has created a persona and lives behind that image rather than the real person? I know from experience that projecting the “perfect life” is a heavier burden than most any truth.

We can very often fool others with clever quotes, inspirational sayings or even combative rhetoric but who is the person behind the screen? What do you really believe? What lies beneath the surface of the carefully crafted photoshoot, the well-placed lighting, and the combination of filters?

We live in a time where it has never been easier to pretend that everything is ok through the lenses of social media. We live in a time where communication methods are at an all-time high but real-life connection seems to be at an all-time low. That created persona allows you to live so that no one ever knows the things you are dealing with, battling and struggling to overcome.

Life is too short to worry about what people who exist in a free app in your phone think of you. Yet, how much time do we spend trying to build a reputation with people whose opinions ultimately don’t matter? The people’s opinions you care so much about on social media won’t be at your funeral. Sometimes we’re exhausted because we’re protecting the image that we want to project. If we could step out from behind that and bring our full self - our true self - we would find a strength that would surprise us.  Not everyone will like you but no one can if they don’t get the chance to know the real you.

We have become heavy on quotes but low on substance. We are drowning in information but starved for wisdom. The unfortunate thing about that is that when the storms of life come (and they will come) all we’ve got are snippets and quotes and little substance because we could not be bothered to watch something longer than 10 seconds or read something longer than a minute because of declining attention spans. We’ve got tons of followers but hardly any real friends. It’s sad that we would rather spend years trying to impress, please, and prove a point to thousands of total strangers online than invest a little more time into the handful of relationships that will actually matter to us.

No matter how many likes you get on your Instagram posts, how many streaks you have on Snapchat, how many people watch your Facebook Live parties, or how many followers you have on TikTok, how many are going to be by your side if you were in the hospital? How many have your phone number and call or text to check on you if you are battling depression? How many will sit with you and let you vent and cry it out rather than simply  type “thoughts and prayers” in the comment section of your post?

Social media does allow for connection and sharing of information and some positive things have come from it but where it gets twisted is thinking that followers are necessarily friends. The overwhelming majority of your followers are just curious; don’t confuse that with caring. I am not anti-social media. I am pro-real relationships.