Control what you can, control your response to what you can't

Let’s get real with each other, shall we? In the past month, I’ve read a lot of different things. In the past month I’ve gone through the gamut of emotions. Sometimes I feel like I experience them all in the course of one day. In the past month, I’ve changed my mind multiple times about the current situation. In the past month, there are times like I feel that everything is going to be ok and then other times where I get incredibly frustrated and uncertain. Can I get a witness?

I’ve seen posts that say we’re overreacting. I’ve seen posts that say we’re not doing enough. I’ve seen posts that say you need to launch that side business during this time. I’ve seen posts that say you need to rest and enjoy the downtime. I’ve seen posts that say we’ll be “back to normal” by early summer. I’ve seen posts that say we’ll be restricted for 12-18 months. I’ve seen posts that say we need to shut down more businesses and services. I’ve seen posts that say too much has already been shut down and they’ll never recover.

As if a global pandemic and a crisis weren’t enough to cause you angst, anxiety and worry now you've got conflicting reports coming in all the time from experts and wannabe experts. Who do you believe? What do you believe? This situation has the ability to destroy you mentally before it ever touches your physically. Protecting your peace, as much as possible, must be a priority. You cannot breathe the air of anxiety and expect to live in an atmosphere of peace.

One thing that I have been thinking on are high school seniors. For all intents and purposes, their high school journey is over and rather abruptly. Many have been blatantly telling them that there are bigger things going on in the world than their cancelled prom and commencement. No one is debating that. However, it is a massive disappointment for these students. It's ok to feel bad as long as you don't minimize the struggles of others. Just because we might have it worse doesn’t give us the right to invalidate someone else’s experience. This one example could be tailored to fit your current situation. You may feel like you’re being selfish for missing things you enjoy that are currently shut down while people are battling for their lives. You’re human. You’re allowed to feel.

We are in the middle of a deliberation as a nation that boils down to lives versus livelihood. We have a faction that stands on the side of extending the quarantine orders to mitigate the viral spread while the other side makes their case for re-opening businesses, even if it has to be gradual and strategic. Then there is that faction that sees both sides and just wishes we could all get along! It can feel stressful, feeling like you have to pick a side. 

Difficult times can diminish us, define us, or develop us. We get to choose. There is nothing easy about this. It’s ok if you did not workout today. It’s ok if you did not clean out a closet. It’s ok if you did not learn a new skill or language today. Don’t let a checklist, social media, or “experts” make you feel guilty for simply trying to cope and survive this crisis. You are doing just fine. This is a pandemic, not a productivity contest. We are going through a collective, unsettling experience. Not everyone has the privilege of turning a global issue into something fun or productive. 

Control what you can – your words, your thoughts, your emotions, your responses, and your actions. Control your response to what you can’t – which is pretty much everything else. When you see something on social media that you don’t agree with, don’t engage. Keep scrolling.  No one’s mind has ever been changed by a hostile post. Protect your peace. Unfollow people if you have to. Manage your intake – what you read, watch, and listen to.

Parts of the day we may feel sturdy, balanced, anchored and focused. Then, there are days that we feel wobbly because of the uncertainty and trying to figure this out as we go. Whatever is happening today, remember that it’s only one scene in a long movie. Don’t treat it like it’s the whole story. Keep playing the movie!  It’s ok if you get distracted and maybe even disappointed but never allow yourself to be defeated!