It's ok to not be ok

(Deep breath) Where to begin? I’m sure many of us are running out of adjectives to use when describing the situation we currently face in our nation and around the world. Words like: wild, crazy, weird, and scary are spoken multiple times a day and phrases like “social distancing” and “self-quarantine” have made their way into our vocabulary. March 2020 felt like a year that just would not end.

What I have witnessed and observed not just in others but in myself as well, is that the uncertainty and the unknown that surrounds us has created just as much anxiety, if not more, than the virus itself. Our desire to control things is at an all-time high and knowing that we cannot is unnerving.

I recently reached out to a friend who works in one of the most impacted industries to ask how they were holding up. The immediate response was: “Doing great! How about you?” I said, “Yeah? You working non-stop and not sleeping?” They said: “Exactly! You read my mind. Trying to stay positive.” My response: “No one is going to think less of you (especially me) for being honest. It’s an INSANE time in the world and you’re in an industry that is being highly impacted.” They ended the conversation by saying, “Thank you! I needed that!”

How many of you reading this respond like my friend initially did? Trying to convince everyone (and maybe even yourself) that you’re steadfast, confident, and not the least bit afraid. If you truly are, good for you! If you feel shaky, uncertain, and scared though, you are not the only one! We are ALL being asked to make sacrifices. We are ALL adjusting to new norms. We are ALL having to go about our days in new and unusual ways. We are ALL unsure about what will happen next.

Social distancing is not about being scared or a germaphobe or a wimp or panicky. It’s about not getting vulnerable people exposed and possibly infected. It’s about not being selfish and considering others.  I’ve talked at length about the dangers of isolation the past couple of years and while I believe in abiding by what our leaders and elected officials are asking of us, I challenge us not to forget that we can still call, text, message, and FaceTime one another and should! We are still better together – even if not physically together for the time being. Right now, it is important to be mindful of our relationships. The implications of this crisis are major for many people: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and economically and it is affecting everyone differently.

I have written numerous times over the past 3+ weeks on my personal social media accounts about how important it is to lift up our leaders (at every level) as they are making decisions they thought they would never have to make and are in a position that the overwhelming majority of us would never want to be in, especially now. Friends, they are not going to have all the answers. They are trying to do what is in the best interest of a lot of people and it is impossible to please everyone.

You’re not the only scared. You’re not the only one uncertain. You’re not the only one with questions. Right now, it feels like we're going through the same thing and yet although we're going through the same storm, we're not all in the same boat. What does this mean? While everyone is somehow being affected by this, we are all being affected differently. Some are healthy, will have the option to work from home and have access to health care. Others may be immunocompromised and have limited access to healthcare. While others may have been laid off with little to no financial support and many others with various different and challenging circumstances.

I encourage us to show grace. Grace for those who are panicked because of the upheaval to their world. Grace because flexibility and understanding will serve us well in the coming days and weeks. Grace for ourselves because this is uncharted territory for us all. We can’t change what’s happening but we can change how we rise to meet it. Sometimes faith changes the situation and sometimes faith changes the way we see the situation. It’s ok not to be ok – just don’t set up camp and live there. We will get through this!