Perfectionism vs Excellence

Do you know a perfectionist? Maybe you’re one. You know the type - “a person striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high-performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations.” When I went through a major bout with depression throughout 2017 and half of 2018, I believe that the man who emerged was more self-aware and willing to admit, accept, and openly talk about my flaws, short-comings, struggles, and insecurities.

However, I know that I still have a ways to go in terms of how I approach work, projects, and success. Is wanting to do things with excellence a bad thing? Absolutely not! However, most of what we call "pursuing excellence" is really perfectionism in a bad disguise. I believe that there are stark differences between pursuing perfection and pursuing excellence.

Excellence launches, perfectionism lags. Excellence energizes, perfectionism drains. Excellence encourages others, perfectionism discourages others.

Perfectionism sets unreasonable expectations. Perfectionism creates impossible time frames. If perfectionism can't trip you up with the results, it will trip you up with the speed. Perfectionism amplifies comparison. If perfectionism can’t spin you out by looking at your own results or lack thereof, it will get you obsessed about the results other people are getting. And finally, perfectionism eliminates your ability to celebrate. Perfectionism discourages you from ever celebrating because no victory is ever big enough. Perfectionism always moves the goalposts. It never allows you to celebrate at a finish line because it will always keep moving the finish line.

I want to be excellent at all I put my hand to (and I’m sure you do too) but it is exhausting and draining feeling like contentment is always out of reach. I want to live a life of gratitude and enjoy what I have been blessed with, called to do, and be able to look to the future with hope and expectation instead of looking back with "what if" and always feeling like I could have done better or more.

Perfectionists strive for impossible goals. Pursuers of excellence enjoy meeting high standards that are within reach. Perfectionists value themselves by what they do. Pursuers of excellence value themselves by who they are. Perfectionists, when they run into difficulty, get overwhelmed and give up. On the other hand, pursuers of excellence experience temporary disappointment, but they keep going. Perfectionists can be devastated by failure; pursuers of excellence learn from it. Perfectionists remember mistakes and dwell on them. Pursuers of excellence correct mistakes and learn from them. Perfectionists want to be number one. Pursuers of excellence can live with not being the best, especially when they know they’ve tried their hardest. Perfectionists hate criticism; pursuers of excellence see criticism as a way to learn. Perfectionists have to win to keep high self-esteem. Pursuers of excellence can finish second and still feel good about themselves.

Perfectionism is a thief of time, draining your energy like a blood-sucking vampire. It bullies and criticizes you and demands unachievable outcomes – since whatever you do is never good enough. It makes you try to live up to some illusion that doesn’t exist. Perfection is always out of reach. The pursuit of excellence keeps you focused on what matters, fills you with energy and can act as your cheerleader. Perfectionism diminishes your productivity, your efficiency and effectiveness, and worse still, damages your peace of heart and mind. On the other side, productivity is built into the pursuit of excellence.

Often perfectionists will not complete things, not start things, or won’t even take things on at all, for fear of not being able to do it perfectly. Perfectionism often causes procrastination. Fear of being unable to deliver to some unachievable standard often causes them to completely avoid doing what needs to be done. Perfectionists are terrified of making a mistake, and consequently find themselves stressed, anxious, and desperately focused on not failing. They maintain unrealistic expectations of themselves and of others and will often micromanage, causing undue stress on themselves and others.

Excellence focuses your attention on what’s right and working well, rather than what’s not working – and this keeps your attention on the positives and how things could be even better. Excellence is limitless and progressive since you can always reach for greater and greater excellence. Whereas perfection can never be achieved.

Accept that nobody’s perfect. Accept that excellence is a process and a direction, rather than an end point. Perfectionism is toxic. Be careful not to confuse excellence with perfection – excellence we can reach for; perfection is God’s business.